For Writers Who Need A Good Kick In The- Well, You Get The Idea
by TheShulesLovinPsycho
Summary: When Shawn, Juliet, Gus, Lassiter and Henry are stuck in the Chief's office together, nothing can go right... Or can it? When Gus brings up the topic of fanfiction, will that be enough to stop them from killing each other? Written as an advertisement for my forum, "For Writers".


**Author's Note: This was made in an effort to make people check out my forum, "For Writers..." If you liked this fic, go check it out!**

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Shawn groaned.

Juliet sighed.

Lassiter scowled.

Henry yelled.

Gus ate a cookie.

"Shawn?" said Juliet. The five were stuck in the Chief's office after some idiot threatened to _whump _them. What the hell was whumping? Whatever it was, Chief Vick didn't like the sound of that, so she stuck them all in the same room. Together. Well, this would be fun.

"Yes, my cute little female tiger?"

"What?"

"Female tiger. What, you don't like it?"

"Where the hell did you come up with that?"

"Random adjective generator. Why?"

Juliet shook her head. "Anyways, do you have any clue what whumping is?"

"As a matter of fact, I do," said Gus. "It's when you torture a character just for the sake of it."

"Well, what's the point of that?" asked Lassiter.

"I dunno," answered Gus. "But-"

"Hey! She asked _me _the question!" said Shawn. Everyone ignored him.

"Whumping is okay when there's a conflict that's later resolved. But sometimes, authors whump randomly and just for the sake of doing it. It really gets on my nerves. Except when they whump Shawn. Then I don't mind."

"So authors just decide, hey, I'm going to torture a character to make myself feel better?" asked Henry.

"Exactly," affirmed Gus.

"That's sick!" said Juliet. Shawn pouted at being left out of the conversation.

"And while we're on the subject of stupid things authors do..." Gus produced a list out of nowhere.

"They use bad grammar or spelling, dialogue without using quotation marks, OOC dialogue-"

"OOC?"

"Out of character," Gus explained.

"So that would be like Spencer saying something smart," said Lassiter. Everyone ignored Shawn's "Hey!" of indignation.

"Also, people ramble endlessly about what their characters are doing. It's like they're using too much description but not enough dialogue. No one wants to read a fic like that."

"And the opposite is true," Juliet chimed in. "Stories with too much dialogue and not enough description get boring after awhile."

"Exactly," said Gus. "Now you're getting it!"

"Why are we talking about fanfiction when we could be talking about guns?" asked Lassiter. Everyone rolled their eyes except for Shawn, who exclaimed, "I'll talk guns with you, Lassie!"

Juliet made a sound of disgust in the back of her throat.

"Oh come on, Jules, I didn't mean it like that! You just have a dirty mind."

"I do not!"

"Oh, Jules, I think we've proved that you can be very dirty... Especially after last night with the-"

"Shawn!" said Juliet, her cheeks flaming.

"Jules!" said Shawn, mocking her tone.

"Would you two just stop already?!" said Lassiter. Shawn grinned.

"So you can handle Juliet taking on serial killers, her getting kidnapped, her being hit on by random criminals, her going undercover with a sorority and a roller derby team, yet you can't handle us talking about sex?"

"There's another one," said Gus.

"Another what?" asked Shawn and Juliet together.

"Another common fanfiction mistake. People always make Juliet too much of a Mary-Sue."

"A Mary- what?"

"A Mary-Sue. It's like the ideal perfect girl."

"I'm not perfect!" protested Juliet. Everyone in the room raised their eyebrows at her.

"Well, think about it. You're a cop, which means you know how to wield a gun. You got kidnapped by Yin-" Everyone shuddered at that memory, including Gus. "You can skate, sing, run, take down criminals, and you're pretty, which doesn't help-"

"Hey!" Shawn interjected. "Why do you notice things like that about my girlfriend?"

"I don't try to notice it, it's just a fact that Juliet is pretty. Is there anything wrong with that?"

"Yes!" said Shawn. "I'm the only one who can call her pretty! Right, Jules?"

**Juliet's POV**

I rolled my eyes at my boyfriend. He was such an idiot sometimes.

**Shawn's POV**

Juliet's rolling her eyes at me. What, Jules? I'm not dumb!

**Gus's POV**

TheShulesLovinPsycho keeps changing perspectives. Maybe she's trying to show that constant point of view switches are another common mistake writers make.

**Henry's POV**

Look, whoever you are, this ShulesLovinPsycho person that Gus keeps thinking about, I have to finish cleaning my fish and cooking them. And if Shawn doesn't show up for dinner today...

**Lassiter's POV**

I don't know what you're trying to prove here, but crime doesn't stop for writing, okay? I don't care if you're the person writing the crimes, if I'm stuck in this hellhole for one more minute...

**Back to third person**

"Ooh, I have another one!" said Shawn, raising his hand.

"What?" asked Gus.

"Not using punctuation It really gets on TheShulesLovinPsychos nerves"

"Wow for once spencer is actually right"

"Oh, there's another one!" said Gus. "not capitalizing where things are supposed to be capitalized. that gets annoying after the first, like, sentence of writing."

"I have another one!" said Shawn. "What is it?" asked Lassiter, Gus, Henry, and Juliet together. "Try to guess," said Shawn. Gus frowned. "You know we can't actually see the writing, right, Shawn?" "Yeah but maybe you can tell from the way we're not pausing after each person says something." "You mean like a bunch of paragraphs and dialogue all packed into one huge paragraph? I hate when writers do that," said Jules. "Exactly," said Shawn. "You hit the nail right on the head." Henry, who had been zoning out through this entire discussion, started. "What nail?"

Suddenly a huge dinosaur popped up and ate a donut from the table.

"Woah..." said Shawn. "We had donuts?"

As Shawn and Gus raced to eat the donuts, Juliet said, "That's another one!"

"What?"

"Saying 'woah' instead of 'whoa'. 'Woah' is not a word. 'Whoa' is."

"Oh, I have one!" said Shawn.

"What?"

"Redundant plot twists. Notice how someone always says "I have one!" and then someone else says "What?". It gets annoying after awhile. Like seriously, can't we say anything else?"

"You're right," said Juliet. "And there's-"

"Detectives, what on earth are you doing? Talking about fanfiction when you should be solving crimes? And Mr. Spencer, where the hell is your shirt?"

Everyone looked at Shawn, whose shirt had mysteriously disappeared. Shawn raised his hands in defeat.

"Don't look at me! TheShulesLovinPsycho just loves seeing me without a shirt. It's not my fault that she likes seeing my beautiful chest. Right, Jules?"

"Huh?" she said. Juliet was too busy drooling over Shawn to notice what they were saying.

"I am very disappointed in all of you. For shame, children. For shame."

"Um, Karen... I'm older than you." said Henry.

A bullhorn appeared out of nowhere. "GET TO WORK! WEAR A SHIRT! SHAWN STOP BEING SUCH A FLIRT!"

Everyone looked at each other. "... That rhymed," said Gus.

"The Chief is my new favorite person," said Shawn.

"What the hell are you guys still doing here? WORK, WORK, WORK! SOLVE CRIMES! LET'S GO, PEOPLE! CRIME DOESN'T STOP FOR FANFICTION!"

"Um..." Everyone turned to see a short Indian kid with a volleyball and very messy hair.

"You guys do realize that I write the crimes, right? And the fanfiction. So technically, crime does stop for fanfiction."

"Who the hell are you?"

"Oh, me? I'm the person who made you exist! Well, not me, that'd be Steve Franks. But I'm the person who took your shirt," she said to Shawn. "And I'm also in love with you. But that's neither here nor there."

"What the hell?" said Lassiter and Chief Vick together.

"I just popped in to tell you that just because Chief is making you guys stop talking about fanfiction, doesn't mean it's the end of this conversation."

"What do you mean?" asked Juliet.

"I mean that I'm making a forum." TheShulesLovinPsycho turned to look at the audience, which was a random person they didn't know behind a computer. "The forum's called the For Writers forum. Go check it out. Oh, and if you liked this fic, check out my other fic, For Writers Who Need A Beta. And while you're at it, look at the rest of my fics as well. And remember to subscribe for more weekly videos!"

"Huh?" said Shawn. TheShulesLovinPsycho shrugged. "It's what they say on YouTube. Oh, whatever." With a wave of her magic wand that she may or may not have snapped off a tree outside the station, she disappeared. And then Juliet started to make out with Shawn. And then the world blew up. And...

In a different parallel universe far, far away, a short Indian kid with a volleyball and very messy hair sat behind a computer screen. And she laughed maniacally as the world burst into flame. The End.

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**Author's Note: Well, that was fun to write! Anyways, go check out my new forum. And remember to subscribe-**

**"Dude, really? Not this again!" said Shawn.**

**"Shut up, Shawn!"**

**Just look at the forum. What are you waiting for?! Forum-reading doesn't stop for fanfiction!**


End file.
